In another life, I worked for a manager who looked like she came straight out of a movie The devil wears Prada. Every lunchtime, we received a call from the doorman: "She's here!".This warning sounded like a storm signal. It was necessary to prepare oneself, mentally especially, for the hurricane that was coming.

I remember several terrifying episodes, here's one I'll share with you. She asked me to order her a salad from a restaurant I often called for her. The salad arrived. Five minutes later, a cry of outrage erupted: there wasn't enough lemon. She yelled at me, asked me to call the chef to yell at him. I transferred the call, the door to her office wide open, the speakerphone on... and I heard this chef being demolished over a lemon.

Did I respect her? No. She scared me. Above all, I learned to step back so she could shine brighter. Yes, she had elegance—the young woman in me even found her “very beautiful.” But above all, she imposed her intimidating power and the toxic atmosphere that followed us from morning until her late departure at night. Her department was sought after, the results excellent. I could have learned a lot while collaborating with her... but fear, the constant worry of pleasing her and avoiding her psychological abuse always took over any attempt at development on my part.

Later, when I arrived in Quebec, I had the chance to work at Desjardins, under the leadership of a very different manager: Luc Thibault. At first, I always called him "Mr. Thibault".For six months he tried to convince me that I could just call him "Luc'" if I wished. I came from far away, as Corneille says in his song, from a very strict education with religious sisters. It was very difficult for me to put aside deeply rooted indoctrinations. Have no fear: they are now analyzed, assumed and then stored in a drawer at the top of a high tower, whose steel door is double-locked and the key... thrown into hell.

One day, he told me something I have never forgotten:

"Janine, we're equals here. I just have a different role and responsibilities than you. You don't respect me less or more by calling me by my first name. My aim is to earn the respect of my collaborators."

This leader wanted the job done well, of course. But he never resorted to intimidation. His authority was never based on fear.

That's the difference. Too often, authority is confused with intimidation. A leader doesn't need to crush to exist, nor dominate to achieve results. Their influence comes from their ability to inspire, generate commitment, recognize and develop the value in others.

I loved the performance of Meryl Streep in The devil wears Prada. She embodied this fear-based leadership perfectly. But every time I watched this film again, I couldn't help but think of my former manager... and everything she put me and all my colleagues through.

One question haunts me:

“Do we really have to scare others to succeed? Could the impressive results associated with this leadership style be achieved in other respectful ways?”

A Hollywood film will never be made about a "Luc Thibault." He didn't have the killer lines, "flamboyance", or excesses needed to play the lead role in a blockbuster. But he gained something much greater: my sincere respect - and that of his entire team.

No amount of shouting for lemons will ever breed loyalty and commitment.

As Michael Jordan said: "Earn your leadership every day".