Ice-breakers
A handy and flexible tool to make your meetings more dynamic and engaging!
Visionary and rigorous. Inspiring, but never paternalistic. Humble, yet expert. Solid as a rock against organizational storms - with dramatic violin in the background. An attractive portrait that fills our job postings and colors our role descriptions.
You’re smiling, I presume. You know as well as I do that this perfect leader doesn’t exist. If they did, they’d be more robot than human. In real life, our leaders arrive at work carrying their emotional and relational baggage. Just like everyone else.
Have you met Valérie? Yes, the one carrying a bag full of impatience! She interrupts, makes decisions quickly, and her team struggles to keep up. Years of having to prove her worth made her rush straight to the goal. And those two hours lost every day in A-40 traffic don’t help.
Marc, the guy whose office is next to Val’s, drags around a heavy trunk of negativity. Nothing is ever good enough. His past failures convinced him that it’s better to expect the worst than hope for the best. Chronic back pain doesn’t help either; it adds another layer of fatigue and defeatism.
And Nadia — yes, Nadia — the one everyone tries to avoid, regularly unloads her frustration in the hallway whenever she meets someone… or in Martin’s office, her manager. In the midst of a divorce, her stress spills into her workdays. Her relationship with her teenager also suffers the consequences.
Even Martin, the manager, isn’t exempt. His old suitcase is packed with outdated reflexes: every problem is first a risk, every mistake proof of incompetence. His automatic reflex? Micromanage rather than trust and empower his team.
We’re often told to “grit our teeth” and keep going. Yet our baggage are glued to us, hard to leave at the coat check.
It’s made of learned behaviors, reactions, and automatisms accumulated over time. Our brains constantly record micro-responses, creating “ready-to-react” networks that often fire faster than conscious thought.
The result? Under pressure, the “automatic pilot” takes control without our awareness: our baggage sits in the driver’s seat, shaping our communication and decisions. Modulating our reactions and building trust becomes difficult.
Have you ever sent an email in the heat of the moment, only to regret it immediately? Made a harsh remark in a meeting without anticipating the tension it created? Or postponed handling a sensitive issue until the stress became palpable?
A 2016 study by the World Health Organization (Benjet et al., 2016) shows that 70% of adults have experienced at least one traumatic event. Keep this in mind at your next meeting: 7 out of 10 participants may carry invisible scars — so much baggage ready to trigger the automatic pilot.
Don’t worry: managers aren’t expected to become impromptu therapists. The goal is to help them develop self-awareness, the first essential step to understanding how their own baggage influences them — and sometimes takes over.
Researchers call it “emotional work.” For us, it means learning to recognize what we carry in our baggage, deciding what to pack or unpack daily in our role… and translating those choices into concrete actions.
The Harvard Business Review observes that the most effective leaders know their emotional triggers and consciously choose how to manage them. Performance isn’t just about technical skills or degrees — it’s about navigating your emotions and experiences with awareness.
And then a domino effect occurs! A powerful signal of psychological safety spreads through the team, creating a space where everyone feels invited to share ideas, ask questions, and take responsibility for mistakes. In short: better management of your own baggage.
This is what we consistently see in organizations we support: when managers invest in self-awareness, team climate improves, performance rises, and innovation finally gets room to flourish.
Conscious leadership doesn’t just transform the leader — it transforms the entire ecosystem around them. It’s not magic. It’s humanity at work: tangible, felt, and contagious.
Take a reflective pause from time to time, especially after a difficult interaction. Ask yourself: “Was it my baggage that took the wheel in this situation?”
Name your triggers, identify situations that spark anger, impatience, or cynicism.
Unpack intentionally: recognize reflexes that no longer serve you and decide to let them go. If it’s difficult, seek support. Some baggage is sticky, like jellyfish tentacles!
Develop self-awareness through specialized training, coaching, or even therapy if necessary.
Foster team dialogue; invite your employees to reflect on their own baggage, in a safe, judgment-free environment.
The real question isn’t whether you are — or even want to become — a perfect leader.
Perfection doesn’t exist, and the concept is frankly boring. It doesn’t inspire; it blocks growth.
So start by wondering:
“Which baggage do I choose to keep? Which am I ready to recognize — and then set down?”
A handy and flexible tool to make your meetings more dynamic and engaging!
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