Wanted: The Perfect Leader
Leadership research increasingly emphasizes a key competency: self-awareness. Daniel Goleman, an expert in emotional intelligence, highlights it as…
A few days ago, a manager friend confided in me, almost in a whisper: “I don’t know if I still enjoy leading.”
He wasn’t talking about his team, whom he deeply appreciates, nor about his organization, which he respects. He was referring to that inner fire that, without noticing, slowly fades under the weight of urgent tasks, endless meetings, tight deadlines, and mental overload.
Francis Boyer speaks of “love-doing” in his book Le plaisir au travail : du savoir-faire à l’aimer-faire. According to him, leadership is not just about skills — its real strength comes from appetence, from the joy of doing what we do.
Leading without pleasure is like sailing without wind: you row, you get exhausted, and the journey loses its life. But when you reconnect with that love-doing, it breathes meaning and vitality into every decision, every conversation, every leadership act. That’s the breath that turns management into a living, inspiring adventure.
If your flame feels extinguished and leadership has started to feel heavy, talk about it — with a coach, a mentor, or someone who can help you rekindle it.
But if your flame still flickers, even faintly, here are five practical actions — five matches to reignite your joy.
We became managers for a reason — to help others grow (at least, I hope so). Rediscovering this deeper meaning doesn’t require a retreat in the woods. It’s a small, daily anchor.
Tip: The “Victory Journal”
Each week, take five minutes to jot down the impact you’ve had on a person, not just a project:
“I spent 15 minutes with Marc, and after our talk, he found his way through a tricky situation — that’s a real win: seeing people grow.”
It reminds you that your role isn’t only about metrics — it’s about human transformation. That kind of reflection rekindles the flame far better than any dashboard.
A manager who wants to control everything ends up suffocating their team… and burning out themselves. In a time of talent scarcity, you can’t afford to keep everything on your plate.
Tip: The “Freedom Challenge”
Identify one task you keep doing out of habit and offer a team member the chance to take it on:
“I’d like you to make this mandate your own — not to help me, but to develop yourself. What do you need from me to succeed?”
You’re not just delegating a chore; you’re offering an opportunity. You stop being the firefighter-manager and become a mentor again. And that’s true pleasure — watching someone take flight because of the trust you gave them.
The joy of leading grows through gratitude. Not the formal kind with forms and bonuses, but genuine, human recognition.
Tip: The “Micro-Moment of Attention”
At your next team meeting, take one minute to highlight a concrete gesture, effort, or attitude:
“I want to recognize how Léa handled the difficult call with client X last week — she showed calm and empathy.”
That moment isn’t trivial. It’s proof that you see others. It nurtures trust, strengthens connection, and recharges your own leader energy.
When you stop learning, routine takes over. In a changing world, continuous learning isn’t a luxury — it’s a lifeline. And let’s be honest: the things we don’t enjoy are often those we don’t yet master. In other words, lack of skill often breeds lack of pleasure.
Tip: The “Curiosity Test”
Each month, explore something new: a tool from a training session, an idea from your manager, or a theme that caught your eye.
Join another team’s meeting and simply observe. Listen, discover their challenges, their ways of working. Next month, let a younger colleague teach you something new.
This constructive discomfort reawakens curiosity — and with it, the pleasure of discovery. Each time you become a learner again, you reconnect with the very energy that makes leadership alive.
Leading starts with leading yourself. Even if you’re more introverted, your joy in leading depends on your ability to stay open to human complexity — without being consumed by others’ emotions.
Tip: The “Protection Window”
Block 45 minutes in your calendar twice a week. Give it an inspiring name — “Decompression Cocoon,” “Mental Oasis,” whatever speaks to you. This time isn’t for catching up on emails; it’s for breathing. Walk, read, listen to music, or simply daydream.
It’s your oxygen bubble. You’re not a superhero — you’re human. When you take care of yourself, your outlook softens, your clarity sharpens, and your leadership becomes more grounded and authentic.
The pleasure of leading doesn’t come from successful projects — those are just results. It comes from the awareness of your living impact: helping, growing, and inspiring others. When that pleasure returns, everything brightens — decisions flow more naturally, conversations become more authentic, and your team regains its spark.
So, this week, ask yourself:
What simple, human gesture could I make today to bring more meaning and joy back to my leadership?
Leadership research increasingly emphasizes a key competency: self-awareness. Daniel Goleman, an expert in emotional intelligence, highlights it as…
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